Confession: I Don’t Like Breastfeeding

Posted in Family, Home
Don't feel the special bond you're "supposed" to have when nursing your new baby? Me neither.

We’ve all heard it: breastfeeding is great for you new baby; it can help you lose the baby weight; it will foster a beautiful bond between you and your new baby. I get that it’s healthy and great and all that stuff, but I don’t like it. Confession: I do it because it saves me money. That’s about the only reason. And you know what? That’s okay.

I’ve never had a particularly bad experience with nursing; I just never felt like it connected me to my baby any more than other things. I carried them for 9 months; it seemed pretty impossible to not be connected.

With my first baby, we had no problems, and she was always very flexible. She would nurse or take a bottle or whatever needed to be done to eat. Although, I do wonder if her being extremely sick early in life had something to do with that.

My second baby was not flexible. At all. I think we got him to take a bottle twice. Ever. I breastfed him for a year, hating most of it. I did not like being tethered to my little baby every moment. I couldn’t go do anything by myself. For a year. I know some moms are totally okay with that. And that’s great for them. But it was not for me. He even threw a fit when I finally ended it. He wouldn’t eat because he wanted the boob. For a week. That was the most stressful year of my life so far.

I remember when I finally admitted to some mom friends that I didn’t like breastfeeding, and I only do it to avoid paying for formula. I was so ashamed/embarrassed that I didn’t get the great bonding feeling that so many new moms talk about. It scared me to even tell them. But you know what? Several of them said the exact same thing. I was shocked, but they thought they were the only ones too.

I just wanted to write this because I want many women out there to know they’re not alone. Isolation is such a strong feeling when you’re a new mom, and it’s good to know there are others out there going through the same thing.

How did you feel about breastfeeding? Loved it, hated it, indifferent? Let me know in the comments.

September 27, 2016
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